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2009-2010 Editorial Board

Simon Swartzman '10


Simon was born with the uncanny ability to standardize a manuscript's punctuation, comma, and grammar rules with laserbeams from his eyes. We let him become Copy Editor of the Record with the single stipulation that he refrain from doing this--have you ever tried to read a draft studded with laser holes?

David Klumpp '10


A punster was bloody out-punned
When the price of steak rose by a ton.
He asked "Is it rare?"
But was caught unprepared
When chef said his joke was well-done.

Judd Rosenblatt '11


Judd was born at an early age to a family of Swedish peddlers. Thanks to the Record, they now peddle the Record.

Jordy Greenblatt '11


Jordy made his name as the first Jewish editor on The Yale Record in 2008. Breaking The Record's century and a half long policy of exclusionary anti-Semitism was not an easy process. After months of legal battles, a series of sit-ins outside the YDN building, and a powerful Lifetime Original entitled Jew of the Few: The Jordy Greenblatt Chronicles, Jordy was finally permitted to edit a maximum of two shorts per issue. He is still campaigning for all the editorial rights of his WASP counterparts, and petitioning for The Record to stop serving Pepperoni, Hawaiian, and all other non-kosher pizzas at meetings as well as to print the magazine in Hebrew, or at least Judeo-Aramaic.

Alison Gates '11


Alison should send me her bio when she reads this.
-The Editor

Mark Sonnenblick '12


Mark was born in Los Angeles and lived there his entire life until now, when he lives in New Haven.

Nina Beizer '12


Nina can list all 50 states in alphabetical order in under 30 seconds. This skill has proven itself useful, uh... never.

Samo Gale '10


Samo is a duck.

Elie Chau '10


Atheism rhymes with things that rhyme with atheism.

Jessica Bolhack '11


No soap, RADIO.

Claire Mulaney '10


Claire is afraid of the internet, so the personal information ends here.

Jacob Abolafia '10


Due to copyright restrictions, Winston Churchill's three volume biography of Jacob Abolafia cannot appear on the Record's website. We at the Record have every hope that the 8th Circuit Court of Appeals will reverse this highly unconstitutional restriction of free speech, at which time Mr. Abolafia's bio will be made available for full perusal. Please direct all questions to Mr. Abolafia's attorney. E-mail: akhil.amar(at)yale(dot)edu

Nozlee Samadzadeh-Hadidi '10


Nozlee doesn't have a bio here, but, if she did, it might say something interesting or funny.

Katy Waldman '10


Katy is a small-town girl with one dream--the dream of writing Sports columns for the Yale Daily News. Due to an unfortunate misunderstanding early in her freshman year, she found herself at the Record and has been diligently reporting the weekly IM standings on the back cover of the magazine ever since.

Tessa Williams '10


Tessa is undergoing an identity crisis and will get back to you when she realizes who she is. Right now she is eating a small piece of chicken.

Emmy Waldman '11


Russia sees itself as the mother church of the Orthodox Church in Serbia. It used to be that Germany was very attached to Croatia. The connection of Islam in general to Kosovo and Bosnia has not been much remarked upon, but it's pretty strong.

Emily Sigman '11


Emily is bigger than a breadbox. Much bigger. Unless, of course, the breadbox is unusually large, or there are multiple breadboxes that come together to form one superultramega breadbox capable of overtaking every major bread factory west of the Mississippi.

Melissa Chiasson '11


Melissa is underqualified to write an autobiography of herself.

Gregor Nazarian '09


Gregor knows the answer to all of life's little questions, such as "Where's the beef?", "No, really, where the heck is the beef?" and "Where the fuck is that stupid beef you asshole, and don't lie to me this time, I'll kill a man if I have to?" 1-900-BEEF-FOR-U $1.99/min.

Daniel Zier '09


If one word can best describe the ever-burgeoning legend that is Daniel Zier, it is undoubtedly "Speedo." After an embarrassing trip to Brazil during which he was ostracized for his lack of genital protrusion in his standard “board shorts,” Daniel vowed never to be humiliated again by his otherwise precise sense of fashion. He unabashedly braves the brutal New Haven winter with a sensual collection of marble sacks, sporting everything from the classic, Brazilian-inspired tanga to the always-popular t-back. Aside from Speedos, Daniel’s eclectic interests range from beaches to tanning to life guarding. He is always equipped with a CPR mask and zinc oxide, and he can frequently be seen on Cross Campus instructing young children not to hang on the diving board.

Liana Moscowitz '09


LIana is written correctly by not capitalizing the "i."

Adam Bildersee '09


Buy my hats!

Ben Orlin '09


A steadfast liberal conservative, Ben's political career rapidly accelerated when he discovered a second use for sweatbands.

Mike Thornton '09


Michael always dreamed of being a bomb-throwing leftist until he underwent season ending Tommy John surgery in 2007 to repair ligament damage in this bomb-throwing arm. While he builds up arm strength, Michael has agreed to be relegated to editing The Yale Record.

David Chernicoff '07


Many a poet, many a historian, and many a rabbi has tried to capture in words the essence of David Chernicoff's epic rise to power: it's Horatio Algeresque, rags-to-riches romantic appeal; his indomitable will and intrepid attitude toward danger and setback; that unique blend of hard work, natural talent, and the fruits of serendipity which, in the cases of those rare few who change the world so drastically we wonder how it revolved without their gravitational presence, is inevitably present.  But there is one thing that all scholars, fans, and acquaintances can agree on: it all started in the Hood, just as he did.  David Chernicoff--that ineffable blend of genius, demi-God, sex symbol, and man--was, one day long ago, just an inner-city Youth with a microphone and a dream.

David Litt '08


Now that you want him, you can't have him. Funny how things work out like that, eh?

Eric March '07


You may have seen Eric in such delightful silver screen rip-offs as "The Wizard of Gauze", "Eric and Fred's Eccentric Adventure", and "Men In Black IV: When Aliens Go Wrong". On the other hand, you might not have.

Michael Rae-Grant '07


Age: 20
Height: 6’0”
Weight: 165 lbs
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Brown
Address: 1101 Macungie Avenue, Parkville, PA 18062
SSN: 157-83-6723
Driver’s License: 21-851-349
Credit Card: Visa, 7020-5674-0034-2304, Ex: 09/07, Verification: 672
Have fun!

Ivan Dremov '07


Ivan Dremov left Russia for Indianapolis in 1995 in order to get enough education to become the Yale Record's circulation manager in February 2004. He then refused to leave Yale or the Record, hanging on as Managing Editor, Senior Editor, and Super Senior Editor. In his free time, Dremov speculates on commodity markets, listens to Duran Duran, and runs his corporation, Ivan Dremov Living OmniMedia.

This page was last updated October 23 2010!

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