Dear Sally, I really enjoyed your science fair project on evolution. It was so creative! I’m so proud that you weren’t afraid to go out on a limb and use…
Dear Justin, When life gives you lemmings, you should totally follow them. —A devious lemming wearing sunglasses and a fake mustache…
Dear Mary Miller, I love your new shirt! —Mary Miller’s stalker, who watches her try on clothes Dear Mary Miller, What you had for dinner last night looked really good,…
Dear salad, You’re all dressed up with nowhere to go. How sad. —A man eating salad alone and trying to make himself feel better…
Dear students, Be advised that this winter break, the Yale Fire Marshals will be deploying microwave-sniffing dogs in their inspections of your suites. —Dean Gentry Dear Dean Gentry, Shit. —…
Dear Barack, Last night was fantastic! Oh, wow, you’re an amazing lover! Who cares what people say; we’ll be together forever. —A girl from Montana whose boyfriend is named Barack…
Dear Oxford English Dictionary, We think you should update your definition of “stinging†to include a portmanteau of “Sting†and “singing.†As in, “Did you go to the Police concert…
Dear pumpkin, I am going to scoop out your insides and leave your body outside my house for everyone to see. Enjoy! —A crazy serial killer who calls his girlfriend…
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