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Lucky Charms Leprechaun Revealed to be Scottish, Loses Job
Minneapolis, MN – Lucky, the Lucky Charms leprechaun, lost his job today when officials at General Mills discovered he was not actually Irish. In a scandal that has rocked the…
Cthulu’s Diary
November 3rd: Waited dreaming. Eggs for breakfast, bit of a lie in. Am considering buying a bicycle. November 17th: Waited dreaming. Nothing good on eBay w/r/t bicycles. Better to wait…
An Ancient Man’s Prayer to the Gods
First off, just want to thank you guys for all you’ve done lately. Ending that 20-year-long famine was fantastic, especially since our high priest had us sacrifice half of our…
A Bedtime Story
You want a bedtime story? Okay, how about this: Once upon a time there was a kid who wouldn’t stop bitching for a bedtime story from his father, whose patience…
CúChulainn Battles the Reigning Beer Pong Champion
It is well-known that the Record archives are filled with surprises—surprises one should dispose of properly, using latex gloves and strict biohazard protocol. Yet even I was astonished to find,…
A Difference of One
This spring break, some students went on a trip to do community service in an underdeveloped country. And you know what? Although I didn’t go with them, I am so…
Thoughts on Urban Legends of the Nineties
1. Consuming Pop-Rocks and Coke at the same time will kill you – This was always one of those things we’d try to get someone else to do—hoping fervently that…
Scrapbook
Sex Before the Internet #8
When small talk won’t work.
Who’s Who #14: Bill Murray
A Cinderella story.
Sound Advice
I bet she throws like a girl.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Disregard the ad; I’ll hump anything that moves.
Girl Power #3
And to think she’s doing it backwards in heels.
Sex Before the Internet #7
10 bucks says that guy has some performance anxiety tonight. Any takers?
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