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Dear Apple,…
Dear Apple, I send this email because I hear there’s a security bug affecting Mac users. Is this true? What can I do to stay safe? —Parnelia Langdon __________ Dear…
Dear rock,…
Dear rock with an inspirational word on it, Thanks a lot. You really helped me get through the death of my grandfather. —Steve __________ Dear Steve, Hope. —Rock…
Deer hunting,…
Deer hunting, Is illegal from April to November. —A poorly formatted state law…
Dear man lying in the road,…
Dear man lying in the road, Stop telling lies, silly! Sincerely, The second man who hit the first guy with his car and is trying to lighten the situation with…
Dear kangaroos,…
Dear kangaroos, What are those big feet for? Jumping? Kicking? Compensating for your exceptionally small hands? Tell me! —Harold Bloom, who has small feet, probably…
Dear cancer,…
Dear cancer, You’re making me look bad. I’m just a crab who makes people born in July really sassy and likely to have a good love life this coming week.…
Dear Rutherford B. Hayes,…
Dear Rutherford B. Hayes, Your life sucks, huh? You work hard, day in and day out, to become president of the United States—the most powerful position in the world—and no…
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Sex Before the Internet #8
When small talk won’t work.
Who’s Who #14: Bill Murray
A Cinderella story.
Sound Advice
I bet she throws like a girl.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Disregard the ad; I’ll hump anything that moves.
Girl Power #3
And to think she’s doing it backwards in heels.
Sex Before the Internet #7
10 bucks says that guy has some performance anxiety tonight. Any takers?
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