Breaking: Santorum comes close, loses anyway

The Iowa Caucuses on January 3rd saw former Pennsylvanian senator Rick Santorum, the latest not-Romney to experience a surge in popularity among Republicans, come close to edging out inevitable nominee Mitt Romney. But like all not-Romneys before him, Santorum will eventually fall. Aside from his well-known Google problem, what will be Rick Santorum’s undoing?

• The surprising popularity of contraception outside of Iowa
• New Hampshire, in like three days
• No one wants him to kiss their baby
• A vicious ad campaign by the Colbert SuperPAC
• The dumpy sweater vests that are doing his waistline no favors
• Herman Cain’s comeback

–Staff