Breaking: Silvio Berlusconi is All Class

In a taped phone conversation, Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi called German Chancellor Angela Merkel “an unfuckable fatass.” What are some of Berlusconi’s other opinions?

• David Cameron ALSO unfuckable fatass
• Libyan chicks fleeing civil war “have bodacious donks.”
• Finnish President Tarja Halonen “a fuckable fatass”
• Hillary Clinton “fuckable; not to my taste, but I get how he does it”
• Icelandic Prime Minister Johanna Sigurdardottir “fuckable in, like, a hot dominatrix librarian kind of way”
• “Michele Obama’s arms scare me.”
• “I wouldn’t do Sarkozy if he bailed out Italy.”
• “My new FIAT drives like a goddamned donkey cart.”

—Staff (Chernicoff, Cohen-Wade, Klumpp, Newsham)