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Dear reader,…
Dear reader, Hey, who turned out the lights? —Some idiot from a 90s cartoon who doesn’t realize that complete and utter darkness might be a sign that someone has deactivated…
Dear doctor,…
Dear doctor, Leeches? What is this, the 1800s? —A man in the 1800s who has no idea what century he lives in…
Dear KLM,…
Dear KLM, When I was told that you were a nice Dutch airline, I anticipated something more along the lines of free weed and prostitutes, not a personal entertainment system…
Dear Susan,…
Dear Susan, You know, things weren’t so bad, really, when we were together. I know the breakup was rough, but I’m still glad we had each other for a brief…
Dear George Lucas,…
Dear George Lucas, It’s a bummer you sold LucasFilms to Disney. You should be the one to write and direct the next three films. Sincerely, No one ever…
Dear High School Integration,…
Dear high school integration, You suck. I hate you. —A man who is either really racist or has a relatively common view of difficult math courses…
Dear Annapolis,…
Dear Annapolis, Nice town, but a little mainstream, don’t you think? Sincerely, Indianapolis…
Dear Swanson’s Chicken Broth,…
Dear Swanson’s Chicken Broth, In your commercials, you say that I should look for your product in the “broth aisle.” First of all: There is no such thing as a…
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Sex Before the Internet #8
When small talk won’t work.
Who’s Who #14: Bill Murray
A Cinderella story.
Sound Advice
I bet she throws like a girl.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Disregard the ad; I’ll hump anything that moves.
Girl Power #3
And to think she’s doing it backwards in heels.
Sex Before the Internet #7
10 bucks says that guy has some performance anxiety tonight. Any takers?
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