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Dear Game Theory Professor,…
Dear game theory professor, Well, you’ve really got me in a dilemma. If I cooperate with my study group on this problem set, then we’ll all have less work to…
Dear Class,…
Dear class, Calc you later, alligators! Sincerely, Your TA, who doesn’t have the best grasp of English idioms…
Dear Girl Who Sells Seashells by the Seashore,…
Dear girl who sells seashells by the seashore, Have you ever considered moving your business inland? Seashells are much rarer there, and by the laws of supply and demand, you’d…
Dear Everyone,…
Dear everyone, It’s Christmastime, and something something love! Something sleigh bells, blah blah snow, and also underneath the tree! More lyrics containing children with positive emotions. Happy holidays! The one…
Dear Literary World,…
Dear literary world,… I think you may have missed the point: the book is about how dementia ruins lives. —Cervantes…
Dear Rihanna,…
Dear Rihanna, If you were actually the only girl in the world, mankind would go extinct except for the babies you produced. Since that’s how you want me to make…
Dear Humanity,…
Dear humanity, I can fight my own battles! Stop advocating for me. —The Devil…
Dear Microsoft Word,…
Dear Microsoft Word, Yeah, you can go ahead and correct “tihs” to “this.” And by all means, keep asking me every single fucking time. You know how I like to…
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Sex Before the Internet #8
When small talk won’t work.
Who’s Who #14: Bill Murray
A Cinderella story.
Sound Advice
I bet she throws like a girl.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Disregard the ad; I’ll hump anything that moves.
Girl Power #3
And to think she’s doing it backwards in heels.
Sex Before the Internet #7
10 bucks says that guy has some performance anxiety tonight. Any takers?
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