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Dear Clara,…
Dear Clara, What’s that? You think you’ll never recover from this illness? Well, not with that attitude! Not without it, either, though. It’s terminal and incurable. —Dr. Mansfield…
Dear Teaspoon,…
Dear teaspoon, What kind of name is that? You’re not always used to drink tea! What a ridiculous misnomer. —Tablespoon…
Dear Drug Dealers,…
Dear drug dealers, Do you have any love? Because love is the sweetest drug of all. Sincerely, Someone who calls heroin “love”…
Dear Punxsutawney Phil,…
Dear Punxsutawney Phil, I didn’t see my shadow either, but nobody made a big deal about it. Sincerely, Helen Keller…
Dear Jessica,…
Dear Jessica, I know you’ve been feeling “not so special” lately, but I want to show you something. See those snowflakes falling outside? They might all look the same, but…
Dear Children,…
Dear children, Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb, Mary had a little lamb, and then she had lamb chops. Sincerely, How the world actually works…
Dear Oracle,…
Dear oracle, Let’s try that again. I asked you about my destiny. I know full well what my density is, thank you very much. Sincerely, Fat Odysseus…
Hey Ugly College Girls,…
Hey ugly college girls, Buy this shaving cream! You never know when someone will finally touch you in an intimate way! Keep hoping! Sincerely, Advertising…
Scrapbook
Sex Before the Internet #8
When small talk won’t work.
Who’s Who #14: Bill Murray
A Cinderella story.
Sound Advice
I bet she throws like a girl.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Disregard the ad; I’ll hump anything that moves.
Girl Power #3
And to think she’s doing it backwards in heels.
Sex Before the Internet #7
10 bucks says that guy has some performance anxiety tonight. Any takers?
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