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Dear old men in locker rooms,…
Dear old men in locker rooms, I know towels are optional, but they are also recommended. For the love of God, grab a fucking towel. —Sauna bench __________ Dear old…
Dear Frank,…
Dear Frank, Aww, fuck…Jesus, this is nasty… ewww, God…eww, eww, eww, eww… ok…ew, Jesus…fuck, fuck, eww, shit… —Dr. Edward Boue, world-class thoracic surgeon performing Frank’s appendectomy…
Dear Google,…
Dear Google, Why don’t I get a doodle for my birthday? —Adolf Hitler…
Dear communists,…
Dear communists, You un-American sons of bitches are ruining this great country. Why don’t you just move to Russia, fuckers? —Socialists…
Dear Mother Teresa,…
Dear Mother Teresa, God. Listen to me, bitch, I need my fucking money. I mean, Jesus, all that heroin. All those hookers. You better pay me, you better pay me,…
Dear top hat,…
Dear top hat, Isn’t your name a little redundant? You’re so weird! —Toe socks…
To the phrase “records were made to be brokenâ€,…
To the phrase “records were made to be brokenâ€, I’m sorry, what? I don’t know how many records you’ve set, but I certainly don’t plan on relinquishing my claim to…
Dear cannibals,…
Dear cannibals, You know, based on our clothes, this should really be the other way around! —A missionary cooking several cannibals in a large pot…
Scrapbook
Sex Before the Internet #8
When small talk won’t work.
Who’s Who #14: Bill Murray
A Cinderella story.
Sound Advice
I bet she throws like a girl.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Disregard the ad; I’ll hump anything that moves.
Girl Power #3
And to think she’s doing it backwards in heels.
Sex Before the Internet #7
10 bucks says that guy has some performance anxiety tonight. Any takers?
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