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Dear Pizza Lovers…
Sure there are a lot of pizza joints in New Haven. But where else are you going to go if you want yours with a human head? Proudly, Bob’s Human Head Pizza…
Superfriends…
Guess my name, or you’ll be stuck in this alternate dimension convenience store forever! Ha ha! —Mr. Mytxzlplk…
Dear Mother and Father…
Leave me alone stop stop it stop quit it stop jerk stop go away stop stop! Stop —Quarrelling siblings via Western Union Telegram…
Tom Selleck: Does oo…
Tom Selleck: Does oo want your wattle? Does oo want your wattle? Ted Danson: She’s so cute! Baby: Gooo! Gah! Steve Guttenberg: Okay, it’s boiling. Quick, throw her in! Three Men and a Baby Papua,…
Dear New Haven Fire Department…
Frankly, we’re a little fed up with your ridiculous sirens blaring at all hours of the night. We suggest that you instead use the enclosed recording of Academy Award winner…
Dear Physics Department…
Fools! You rejected my “time-travel†senior project. Now, I have exacted my vengeance. Remember sixth grade? That kid who pulled down your pants in the middle of gym class? That…
Dear Humanity…
I’m told that a lot of you are upset that you have to spend all your time here programming my VCR, fixing me nachos, et cetera. Apparently there’s been some…
Dear Yale Record…
Dear Yale Record, Your humor is asinine and puerile. Your readers want intelligent, witty writing, not stupid sexual innuendo. I hope you take this criticism to heart. Sincerely, Ophelia Dick…
Scrapbook
Sex Before the Internet #8
When small talk won’t work.
Who’s Who #14: Bill Murray
A Cinderella story.
Sound Advice
I bet she throws like a girl.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Disregard the ad; I’ll hump anything that moves.
Girl Power #3
And to think she’s doing it backwards in heels.
Sex Before the Internet #7
10 bucks says that guy has some performance anxiety tonight. Any takers?
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