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Dear Citizens…
Dear Citizens, Remember, everyone: September is Awareness Month Awareness Month! —National Awareness Month History Board…
Dear Popular Media…
Dear Popular Media, Sound and Light get all the good press. Doesn’t anyone realize I have a pretty fast speed, too? —Smell…
Dear Readers…
Dear Readers, Out of the meadow endlessly rocking, with the trees blowing in the evening breeze, and the young boy coughing til his eyes are red and watery and tearing, and…
Dear Yale…
Dear Yale, I still haven’t adjusted to Harkness Tower playing Beatles songs. —E. Everett Pritchart, Class of ‘47…
Dear Yale Record…
Dear Yale Record, I am a fourth-grade English teacher in Butte, Montana (pronounced “Beaut,†and not “Butt†or “Bootyâ€) and I must say that I don’t think you do much…
Dear Man in the Yellow Hat…
Dear Man in the Yellow Hat, I take all the blame, but why? Who’s the one who brings a monkey into museums and restaurants in the first place? “Oh, I…
Dear Yale Record…
Dear Yale Record, Here is a haiku about having sex with the elderly: Unfurl your O’Keefe. Gently flap the stale curtain. Oh no, centipedes! Love, Grandma Agnes…
Dear Bakers…
Dear Bakers, What the hell is up with a “baker’s dozenâ€? Are you all retarded? I’m a butcher, and if I got three things together and called them a “butcher’s…
Scrapbook
Sex Before the Internet #8
When small talk won’t work.
Who’s Who #14: Bill Murray
A Cinderella story.
Sound Advice
I bet she throws like a girl.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Disregard the ad; I’ll hump anything that moves.
Girl Power #3
And to think she’s doing it backwards in heels.
Sex Before the Internet #7
10 bucks says that guy has some performance anxiety tonight. Any takers?
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