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Dear J.K. Rowling…
Dear J.K. Rowling, Can the next Harry Potter feature Harry having sex? With Hermione? In graphic detail? With pictures? And no words? And not so much Harry and Hermione as…
Dear College Admissions Officer…
Dear College Admissions Officer, I enjoyed my community service experience, because now I understand what it’s like to be a member of a disadvantaged minority group. Charitably, Archibald C. Winstead VI…
Dear Yale Record…
Dear Yale Record, Say what you like about ice fishing, or good times with good friends—for my money, there’s nothing more fun than going down to the zoo and feeding…
Dear Marvel Comics…
Dear Marvel Comics, Spiderman beat up the Hulk?! This is why I can’t stand comic books anymore—so much of the stuff just doesn’t make sense. Spiderman, who gets his powers…
Dear George Lucas…
Dear George Lucas, When I got pulled over by a cop for talking on my Droid cell phone, I waggled my finger at him and said, “These aren’t the droids…
Dear Yale Record…
Dear Yale Record, Life is difficult for us of the phylum Phylatia Luthus. We live only a scant 32 minutes, during which time we must mate, give birth, and write…
Dear American Sports Fans…
Dear American Sports Fans, Graham Gooch went over the century mark in three straight matches—we will take you there. The world’s most famous bowler is also a chef! Read it in…
Comrades…
Comrades, Heavy, starchy meals are the opiate of the masses. —Engels…
Scrapbook
Sex Before the Internet #8
When small talk won’t work.
Who’s Who #14: Bill Murray
A Cinderella story.
Sound Advice
I bet she throws like a girl.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Disregard the ad; I’ll hump anything that moves.
Girl Power #3
And to think she’s doing it backwards in heels.
Sex Before the Internet #7
10 bucks says that guy has some performance anxiety tonight. Any takers?
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