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Etiquette
1. While riding the subway, don’t touch anyone else unless you’re related by blood. If you do accidentally touch someone, apologize, but not too much. (Exchanging words on the subway…
Saving Money the Homeless Way
In today’s troubled economy, we’re all looking for ways to squeeze a few extra dollars out of our monthly budgets. This practice can seem like an exercise in futility sometimes,…
Unfortunate Promotions for the 1,000,000th Customer
Congratulations! You’ve been drafted! For buying the millionth box of Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes, we’re mailing you an actual tiger! You’ve won my daughter’s hand in marriage! For your good fortune in…
“Buy One, Get One Free!” Offers That Aren’t So Great
Coffins Kidneys College degrees Giraffes Books on responsible fiscal spending Greece Vaccines The Mona Lisa The Internet Mail-order brides Chlamydia —I. Strauss…
I Am the Vending Machine That Ate Your Last Dollar Bill
You can beat me all you want. You can cry and scream and stamp and kick. You can mash my buttons, jam your fingers up my coin slot, cram your…
Internal Monologue of Someone Involved in a Last-Second Bidding War
To bid or not to bid: that is the question. Dare I click it? Dare I let it slip into the hands of some stranger? I mean, how much do…
Surprisingly Popular Products at Yale
Durfee’s French fries: Because you were drunkenly Bluebooking the last night of shopping period and forgot to plan lunch into your schedule. Dining hall napkins: Because the way you eat…
Things Hidden in Fine Print
The phrase “You could win 100 Grand†refers to the 100 Grand candy bar. It does not refer to a sum of money. The winner will only receive said prize…
Scrapbook
Sex Before the Internet #8
When small talk won’t work.
Who’s Who #14: Bill Murray
A Cinderella story.
Sound Advice
I bet she throws like a girl.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Disregard the ad; I’ll hump anything that moves.
Girl Power #3
And to think she’s doing it backwards in heels.
Sex Before the Internet #7
10 bucks says that guy has some performance anxiety tonight. Any takers?
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