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Internal Memorandum: Thrusting Ahead
To: Research Division From: Corporate Headquarters Date: 2/23/2014 Re: Research Objectives Thrusting Ahead Dear Scientist Thralls, Pfizer is and has always been committed to learning what lessons we can from…
Other Things That Thomas Edison Failed 1000 Times At
Saying the word ‘butternuts’ into a phonograph without laughing Beating Level 6 of Mortal Kombat Touching his tongue to the tip of his nose Satisfying a woman Getting the seasoning…
Other Kinds of Darwinism
Anti-Social Darwinism – Arose when Netflix started a new promotion, promising free subscriptions to college students on break Academic Darwinism – Began as an objective competition to gain admission to…
Reasons Engineers Chose Yale Over MIT
MIT’s mascot is fucking Tim the Beaver Brandon Levin’s eyes MIT’s big “Calculus Under the Sea†and “Suicide Preventionâ€-themed dances just seemed like too much fun Seriously though, MIT’s campus…
Fermat’s Second-To-Last Theorem Finally Proven
After centuries of baffling the world’s greatest mathematicians, Fermat’s Second-to-Last Theorem has finally been proven. Fergus Kirkenheim, who crafted the seminal paper, has been awarded the so-called “Nobel Prize of…
Scrapbook
Sex Before the Internet #8
When small talk won’t work.
Who’s Who #14: Bill Murray
A Cinderella story.
Sound Advice
I bet she throws like a girl.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Disregard the ad; I’ll hump anything that moves.
Girl Power #3
And to think she’s doing it backwards in heels.
Sex Before the Internet #7
10 bucks says that guy has some performance anxiety tonight. Any takers?
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