- Subscribe
Socialize
Times Not to Say, “Oh, How Droll!”
When listening to the daily specials at a restaurant In a DS paper After a murder After a eulogy As someone is confessing to a murder After being asked for…
The Stalking Log of Winston Everett Pennydollar IV
September 19, 2:02 pm: I saw Ginevra again. I was at the club, polishing my clubs and inspecting my balls, when she strode right out in front of me. For…
Things Your Nanny Says to Your Children While You’re on Holiday
Mommy isn’t the first “Mommy†who hung around the estate—just the first who turned out to be fertile. These bedrooms are haunted by the ghosts of the slaves who built them.…
What Are Rich People Hiding Under Their Top Hats?
Greasy toupees Lice Giant foreheads Smaller top hats Pet mice The real Osama Bin Laden The pet mice’s turds Things to throw at homeless people A bad hair cut The…
Ways to Be More Eccentric
Wear two monocles instead of glasses Start offering people “friendship bracelets†woven from your own hair Read books upside-down because “it’s better for your eyes†Deliberately misquote Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, and Ke$ha in…
Schedule of Batman’s Butler, Alfred
[Click the image below to see it in full size.] —Written by I. Gonzalez, Designed by S. Stern…
Pick-Up Lines to Use at the Clubs in Newport
Why the bifocals, you ask? They let me try more… positions. People tell me I remind them of a corset—touch the right button and everything comes off. Wanna take a…
The Tales of Lionel Pettibanks Witherbottom
Folklore is filled with well-loved protagonists, from Anansi the Spider to Brer Rabbit. The most sophisticated among us follow the adventures of one Lionel Pettibanks Witherbottom. The Origins of the…
Scrapbook
Sex Before the Internet #8
When small talk won’t work.
Who’s Who #14: Bill Murray
A Cinderella story.
Sound Advice
I bet she throws like a girl.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Disregard the ad; I’ll hump anything that moves.
Girl Power #3
And to think she’s doing it backwards in heels.
Sex Before the Internet #7
10 bucks says that guy has some performance anxiety tonight. Any takers?
Recent Comments