You can beat me all you want. You can cry and scream and stamp and kick. You can mash my buttons, jam your fingers up my coin slot, cram your…
To bid or not to bid: that is the question. Dare I click it? Dare I let it slip into the hands of some stranger? I mean, how much do…
Durfee’s French fries: Because you were drunkenly Bluebooking the last night of shopping period and forgot to plan lunch into your schedule. Dining hall napkins: Because the way you eat…
The phrase “You could win 100 Grand†refers to the 100 Grand candy bar. It does not refer to a sum of money. The winner will only receive said prize…
The Clean Pools Act (1902): Factories must abstain from dumping their waste in public swimming pools. The Child Wellness Act (1905): Children under the age of six are entitled to a…
It is here. The advance for which you all were waiting. The great leap forward. We at Lenins ‘N’ Things have introduced a pioneering new line of clothing: “The Contented…
In a move that met with mixed reactions and anxious glances from shareholders, Apple confirmed yesterday that it has now hired at least one “Village Idiot†to work at the…
The Yale Record presents the Super Bowl Supplemental!…
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