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I Am the Vending Machine That Ate Your Last Dollar Bill
You can beat me all you want. You can cry and scream and stamp and kick. You can mash my buttons, jam your fingers up my coin slot, cram your…
Internal Monologue of Someone Involved in a Last-Second Bidding War
To bid or not to bid: that is the question. Dare I click it? Dare I let it slip into the hands of some stranger? I mean, how much do…
Surprisingly Popular Products at Yale
Durfee’s French fries: Because you were drunkenly Bluebooking the last night of shopping period and forgot to plan lunch into your schedule. Dining hall napkins: Because the way you eat…
Things Hidden in Fine Print
The phrase “You could win 100 Grand†refers to the 100 Grand candy bar. It does not refer to a sum of money. The winner will only receive said prize…
Progressive-Era Regulations You Didn’t Know Were Necessary
The Clean Pools Act (1902): Factories must abstain from dumping their waste in public swimming pools. The Child Wellness Act (1905): Children under the age of six are entitled to a…
COMRADES AND COMRADETTES:
It is here. The advance for which you all were waiting. The great leap forward. We at Lenins ‘N’ Things have introduced a pioneering new line of clothing: “The Contented…
Apple Adds “Village Idiots” to the Genius Bar
In a move that met with mixed reactions and anxious glances from shareholders, Apple confirmed yesterday that it has now hired at least one “Village Idiot†to work at the…
The Super Bowl Supplemental
The Yale Record presents the Super Bowl Supplemental!…
Scrapbook
Sex Before the Internet #8
When small talk won’t work.
Who’s Who #14: Bill Murray
A Cinderella story.
Sound Advice
I bet she throws like a girl.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
Disregard the ad; I’ll hump anything that moves.
Girl Power #3
And to think she’s doing it backwards in heels.
Sex Before the Internet #7
10 bucks says that guy has some performance anxiety tonight. Any takers?
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