Dear American Red Cross,…

Dear American Red Cross,

It has come to my attention that you teach the Heimlich maneuver in all your life-saving courses. Well, in my opinion, it is just as important to teach the Dan maneuver, another life-saving procedure. To do the Dan maneuver, you pop, lock, and drop it, then moonwalk across the room. I can tell you from personal experience that it has saved the life of the party many times.

You’re welcome,

Dan Phillips, BK ’15