Dear six-year old…

Dear six-year old,

Look, I know this looks bad. A stranger in some beat-up van offering you candy to get in and help find his puppy? Even I would be suspicious. Let me explain. The puppy is very small. The van is very big. I have poor eyesight and a surplus of candy. You game or not?

Sincerely,
Pete

P.S. JK! I’m totally kidnapping you.