Dear Swanson’s Chicken Broth,…

Dear Swanson’s Chicken Broth,

In your commercials, you say that I should look for your product in the “broth aisle.” First of all: There is no such thing as a broth aisle. What the fuck kind of grocery stores are you shopping at, Swanson’s? Grocery stores where every aisle only has one product? That kind of grocery store would have literally thousands of aisles! It would be miles and miles wide! You would have to have those conveyor belt-type walkway things like they have in airports just to shop at one! That would be insanity. Secondly, even if there were such a grocery store, why would I look in literally any place other than the broth aisle? How dumb do you think I am?

Respectfully,

Joe Cartman, TC ’13