Dear The Man with the Yellow Hat,…

Dear The Man with the Yellow Hat,
So, I don’t know how to put this, but
what’s with the big yellow hat? Do you
have an oddly pointed head? Or is it
some sort of archaic, phallic symbol that
you use to elevate yourself over other
creatures, in a vain attempt to hide your
overcompensation for your incredibly
small penis?
—Curious George

Dear Curious George,
I have a protruding tumor. Enjoy the
glue factory.
—The Man with the Yellow Hat