I Am the Hide-and-Seek Champion

I am going to win today at hide-and-seek, because I found the best hiding spot. Everyone said I wouldn’t. They said, “Landon’s gonna lose!” and, “Landon’s too big to play hide-and-seek!” and, “Landon, you’re ten years old, for Christ’s sake. Don’t you have any friends besides your little brother and a bunch of four-year-olds? Don’t answer that. I need a drink.”

But I didn’t listen to them, just like the time I desided I wanted to ride Michael’s tricycle because two wheels is hard and purple is my favorite color. Maybe I’m too big to hide behind the bushes or the TV or Nellie the cat, and maybe I broke Michael’s tricycle, but I am definitely smarter than his friends. I have won more games than any of them and lost more teeth than all of them put together, and yesterday I learned how to spell “desicion,” which means I am smartest. I am smarter than Michael’s whole kindergarten class and probably even some first graders.

And I am good at waiting. You have to be good at waiting to win hide and seek, because the longer you wait, the more you win. Well, I have had a lot of waiting practice. Sometimes for twenty whole minutes! One time for two hours when Mom forgot about my after-care. I also wait for breakfast, and the school bus. I wait for the third graders to give me back my lunch money and my pencils and my lost tooth. Once, I waited a whole extra year to go to the second grade. And I’m still waiting for that tooth.

So it’s not very hard for me to wait in the dryer. I just sit here and think. Mostly I think about how I am going to be Hide-and-Seek Champion, but sometimes I think about how mommy’s breath smells funny after four o’clock, and sometimes I try to count all of my toes without getting distracted. I’ve been thinking and waiting for a long time, long enough for me to pee my pants at least once. Long enough that Mom already called, “Dinner!”… which means Michael has missed dinner looking for me! And he still hasn’t found me!

I am the Hide-and-Seek Champion!

—M. Taylor

If you liked this piece, check out the rest of the Game Issue here!