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The Fun-In-The-Sun Issue
by Mollie Wilson '03
Summer offers many opportunities for patriotic partying, from the backyard Fourth of July barbecue to the black tie Flag Day ball. As any Lillian Vernon catalog will tell you, no American celebration is complete without extensive red, white, and blue accessorizing, and this must include Old Glory herself, prominently displayed on every proper American front porch. But there's nothing frivolous about displaying our nation's most sacred emblem -- the slightest mistake could have serious repercussions for you and your family, from disdainful snickers to neighborhood rumors of Communist infiltration. Thankfully, the confusing intricacies of honoring the Stars and Bars are explained in a handy red, white, and blue booklet entitled, "Let's be Right on Flag Etiquette." This publication, distributed by the American Legion "National Americanism Committee," was intended to "increase the knowledge of the general public in the proper display and respect for the Flag of the United States of America" (according to the no-nonsense introduction). The rules of the Flag Code are "simply a guideline for proper Flag etiquette," the opening paragraph stresses, meant for those times when common sense just isn't enough. But, lest readers be tempted to go on wantonly disregarding the Code, the introduction adds ominously: "Misuse and improper display will, however, most likely incur ridicule and harassment from those more familiar with these provisions."
If, like me, you wish to avoid harassment at the hands of vigilante American Legion members, you would be wise to take the advice of this helpful guide, which conveys its information in snappy Q&A format. (As I read, I found it useful to assign celebrity voices to these anonymous speakers: for the inquisitive everyman 'Q' I imagined the youthful voice of Matthew Broderick, while the sensible intonation of Fred MacMurray served as the authoritarian voice of the Americanism Committee. Feel free to substitute your own favorite stars in these roles.) I had never known that such strict "guidelines" applied to deceptively simple tasks such as the playing of the National Anthem. "Is there a specific version which must be played?" asked 'Q.' "No," the Committee answered kindly, but the Legion does recommend the so-called "Service Version" (written in the highly efficient key of A flat). Armed with this information, I was ready to scoff at the next baseball stadium vocalist who unwittingly began in F sharp. "Are rock versions of the National Anthem appropriate?" 'Q' pressed on. The Committee seemed uncomfortable with the question, stressing that while there's no law against it, "The American Legion is opposed to these renditions and encourages the use of the 'Service Version' played and sung in a traditional manner."
I read on, fascinated, and learned that whenever the National Anthem is performed (even in the frowned-upon "rock" style), those present are expected to stand. 'Q' then asked the question which would occur to any rational mind: "Is it necessary to stand and salute when the National Anthem is played over a film tract, radio, 'juke box,' or other type of musical reproduction machine?" In a stroke of luck for theatergoers everywhere, the Legion determined that "When the National Anthem is played over a radio or in a restaurant from a 'juke box' or some other type of musical reproduction machine, or in a theatre over a film tract, it would seem more or less forced and unnatural to pay special respect."
My mind raced ahead. What if, during one of my frequent neighborhood walks, I should suddenly hear "The Star Spangled Banner" playing from afar? "If the music is outdoors, near and quite audible," counseled the voice of the American Legion, "all persons should stop, uncover, and stand at attention." What about other patriotic songs -- "God Bless America," "You're a Grand Ol' Flag" and the like? Standing "is not required," the Committee asserted. "However, on occasions when patriotic enthusiasm runs high, it is common practice."
The National Anthem was not the only matter of concern addressed by the pamphlet. I had been thoughtlessly reciting the "Pledge of Allegiance" since kindergarten, but now I was suddenly afraid I had been behaving disrespectfully all along. Were my classmates secretly ridiculing me all along, as the Legion seemed to suggest? Fortunately the rules of the Code concerning the Pledge apply only to "persons in uniform," who are expected to "remain silent, face the flag, and render the military salute." 'Q' wanted specifics: "Wearing a Legion cap, is it proper to render the military salute while reciting the Pledge?" No, the Legion repeated -- a person in uniform should salute and "remain silent" (this phrase was always in quotes, as if it were a euphemism for something much more complicated). 'Q's' next concern seemed, to me, quite logical: "If everyone at our Legion meeting is wearing a Legion cap, how is it possible for us to 'Pledge Allegiance' to our country, given the answer to the above question?" Luckily the National Americanism Committee was reasonable and levelheaded, and assured 'Q' that they had "deemed it appropriate for Legionnaires to come out of uniform (uncover)" to recite the Pledge. Does this rule include women, the thorough (and possibly female) 'Q' wanted to know? The booklet answered patiently, "Since it may be inconvenient for women Legionnaires to remove their caps" -- secured, as they would doubtless be, by innumerable bobby pins -- "it is permissible to conduct themselves as if they were not wearing a cap." If a woman still brazenly chose to disregard this generous provision, she would be expected to "remain silent."
The rules went on, detailing the proper weather conditions for flying the Flag and "the proper manner of displaying the Flag on an automobile." The opportunities for error were myriad. I breathlessly turned the pages until I reached the end, where I found advertisements for the "Pledge of Allegiance Comic Book" and a "Flag Appreciation Certificate." My eyes filled with patriotic tears, and I could hear the stirring strains of the National Anthem (rendered in a stately A flat, of course) ringing in my ears. Never again, I vowed, would I rely on common sense when something as important as Flag Etiquette was at stake!
This page was last updated October 23 2010!
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