The content of this piece is entirely factual. See for yourself at www.missamerica.org.

Introduction
For those who think that the Miss America pageant is nothing more than out-dated, sexist show-boating, you are wrong. It may be sexist, and possibly outdated, but we'll have you know that show-boating isn't even a real word. What we are trying to say, is that beneath the show, beneath the glitz, and beneath the swimsuits, the Miss America pageant provides a valuable window into the history of twentieth century america. In honor of this proud history, here is a brief list of some Miss America winners who have changed the world, presented in chronological order for your comprehensile ease.

Miss Mortality: Fay Lanphier, 1925
"Fay was known as a Hollywood dreamer, being the first Miss America with Hollywood aspirations. She held a distinctive first in many pageant areas, including being the first titleholder of an entire state, not just a city (California), the first to profit from the title, the first to make a movie, the first to divorce, and regrettably also the first former Miss America to die."

Miss-ing in Action: Henrietta Leaver, 1935
"Henrietta's year of service had its share of controversy; she was one of several early Miss Americas to marry during her year--in fact, she eloped! Henrietta died in 19??."

Miss "No Comment": Bette Cooper, 1937
"A soft-spoken person of polite cordiality, Bette still refuses to talk to reporters, the Pageant staff and others about her involvement."

Miss Yawn: Frances Burke, PA, 1940
Frances' year of service was sublime, without incident, and not much has been recorded concerning her year of service.

Miss "Sandusky or Bust!": Venus Ramey, 1944
"It was Venus' hope the pageant would be a stepping-stone to show business. She has been a comedian, entertainer, and host of various productions near her hometown in Ohio."

Miss-ing in Action (Runner-up): Jacque Mercer, AZ, 1949
"Jacque married during her year of service, and was the last to do so. The Miss America Pageant changed the rules regarding marriage during Jacque's year of service. Jacque died in 19??."

Miss Rocketry: Judith Ford, 1969
"Her greatest joy and accomplishment is being a mother and 'launching' her children into the world."