The Online Symposium

by J. Abolafia

Socratease: hey agathon wats up
Agathong: nm Socrates, y rnt u at the agora?
Socratease: some bitch said I was corrupting the youth of Athens.
Agathong: that’s so gay.
Socratease: srsly. So wut are u up to?
Agathong: nm, I was gonna stay home and wikipedia the form of the good.
Socratease: d00d, u can’t find that shit online.
Agathong: y not?
Socratease: the feds, brah.
Agathong: wut do you mean?
Socratease: cmon…you know how to find the good, right?
Agathong:….no.
Socratease: n00b.
Socratease. Jk jk. Let’s find it together. What is the most beautiful thing you can think of.
Agathong: A sunset?
Socratease: no. more beautiful.
Agathong: a painting?
Socratease: no. the most beautiful thing. The thing you love the most.
Agathong: a nubile pubescent boy?
Socratease: yes! Now why do you love him?
Agathong: he’s looks pretty?
Socratease: no, the little boy is a ladder. Once you climb the ladder you will reach the good!
CYBERCOP313 entered the chat.
Cybercop313: I hope you like the taste of hemlock n00b.
Socratease: oh shit.
Cybercop313: Yeah that’s right. ATHENZ RULZ SPARTA DRULZ
CYBERCOP313 exited the chat.
Socratease: wtf?
ALCIBIADES entered the chat.
Alcibiades: haha, jk its me Socrates I love you man.
Socratease: d00d r u high again?
Alcibiades: no.
Alcibiades: yes.