Single, but I get around

In a hostile domestic situation with

In a hostile, foreign, and militarized situation with

Single, but probably sleeping with your boyfriend

Sexually and emotionally unfulfilled by

In a relationship, but just for the sex with

In a relationship, but just for the money of

Single as Fuck

Loves him, but wishes there was a bigger penis on

In a relationship, but just to fulfill my psychopathic need for a relationship

SO FUCKING SINGLE

Single BECAUSE JAMES FRANCO IS AN ASSHOLE AND LINCOLN SEDLACEK IS A CHEATING ASSHOLE

Wouldn’t you like to know?

For the love of God, fuck me, I’m single

But seriously folks, the author of this piece is single 

—M. Taylor