Surprisingly Popular Products at Yale

Durfee’s French fries: Because you were drunkenly Bluebooking the last night of shopping period and forgot to plan lunch into your schedule.

Dining hall napkins: Because the way you eat would be considered a crime in most countries. Or because you want nobody to know you’re the idiot that fucked up the waffle iron.

The automatic hand-sanitizer dispensers in the dining hall: Not because you’re especially hygienic, but just because you can use it without even pushing a button! Whoa! Science!

Berkeley’s dino nuggets: For the Japanese international students, getting to “destroy” a dinosaur is a pleasant turning of the tables.

Water: Sure, it’s important for living and the like, but it’s also the key to making sure an exciting evening at Toad’s doesn’t become a miserable morning waiting for your head to explode.

That 5th cup of coffee: Because you you you you you just need to ace that Fr…Fr…Fr…French t-t-t-t-test!

Everything that belongs to your roommates: We’re family, right? I haven’t bought soap, toothpaste, or underwear since I got here, so why start now?

-T. Reginal