The phrase “You could win 100 Grand” refers to the 100 Grand candy bar. It does not refer to a sum of money.

The winner will only receive said prize if he or she is currently dressed like a vegetable.

To receive a full refund, the product must be unopened, in its original packaging, and accompanied by your wallet.

If your erection continues for more than seven hours, you should probably have a lot of sex.

Product may contain traces of ejaculatory fluid.

Side effects may include: headaches, drowsiness, upset stomach, face-eating, uncontrollable sobbing, loss of limb, and nipple swelling.

Warning: product may disintegrate within one to two hours of purchase.

Warning: consumer may disintegrate within one to two hours of purchase.

The man in the “before” photo is actually a completely different, significantly uglier, fatter, and balder person than the man in the “after” photo.

No animals were harmed in the making of this film. Except for Spot. RIP.