Things The Large Hadron Collider Also Collides

A boring, unflavored Cheez-It and a 6,000-pound wedge of cheese
Two unrealistically attractive characters in a Nicholas Sparks novel
Some unlucky mole people in Switzerland
A couple of kids that shouldn’t have bullied the project head in middle school
Two janitors at CERN who were just screwing around
You and I (do do-do do do, do do-do do do)
Exiled Irish patriot Thomas Addis Emmet and future
Senator Daniel Webster in the riveting 1824 US
Supreme Court case Gibbons v. Ogden
Large hardons

—S. Savitz