Dear Yale Admissions Committee…

Dear Yale Admissions Committee,

Did you know that I have a new movie out called Cruel Intentions? Oh, yeah—I’m also on the hit series Buffy the Vampire Slayer, where I kill vampires. Umm, and guys think I’m really hot. Whaddaya say—think I’ve got what it takes to succeed at Yale?

Sincerely yours,
Sarah Michelle Gellar

Dear Sarah,

You forgot to mention in your letter: which multimillionaire donor are you descended from? You are descended from one, right?

—The Yale Admissions Committee